As I write this post, I’m flying to Madrid – probably at a height of 10.000 m, while I can admire a wonderful full moon at night right through my window. The full moon might have given me the inspiration to start writing a blog post again.
Such phenomenon of nature always triggers my spiritual awareness of my own human being.
Also, I’m heading to Spain again, like last year when I travelled to A Coruña to meet my 3rd cousin to get a glimpse of potential biological connections to my Indian roots.
It made me look back to a wonderful evening during which my third cousin proudly wanted to show the beautiful spots of his hometown A Coruña. He drove me to the coast side up to the Hercules Tower, a lighthouse being the memorable landmark of A Coruña.
And that’s how I feel now when writing this blog post. I feel like standing next to the Hercules Tower, shivering in a cold night while at the same time amazed by the mystic view of the search light of the light house that is scanning the dark night and sea. I realize I’m like the light house that is looking to the far end of the world but still standing on known ground. A part of me, wants me to look into the unknown. There is more than my current life can offer. But I don’t know what I don’t know. And like the sea, it’s in constant change, there is no certainty, there is no destination with guaranteed arrival date and location.
Another part in me, puts me to the ground on which I’m standing. It wants me to get in touch with the earth and make me feel like I always can get back home. I can fly back to Belgium, I can go back to beloved ones, to family and friends, get back on the job – in a split second.
Maybe that’s not a bad position after all: I can explore the world of the past and the future but always get back to my safe harbour. It comes to my mind that it’s a relief to navigate your boat back into a safe harbour when you got adrift in stormy weathers, unknown surroundings and undefined destinations.
I’m lucky with my daughter, my girl-friend, my beloved pets and significant others. It feels like they all boarded on a boat of which I’m the captain navigating the ship through stormy weathers and adjusting the sails as needed.
And like a captain, I need to have trust in my own ability to steer the boat, navigate the world and decide when it’s the best moment to return to the safe harbour.
The search light of the Hercules tower could not only be an allusion to a roots search for birth family, but it even stands for a discovery of my authentic self. I’m looking for the captain himself, his self-confidence and a proof of his competence to navigate the boat into the unknown and back.
Mohan Saroo Blog 