Note: this post is quite personal – I think it’s needed to provide further context on purpose and logic of upcoming postings. I don’t mind if you prefer to skip this post or parts of it. I would understand that.
People that know me, might have been surprised when they saw my blog launch on adoption, they might have been surprised to even read that I got myself a free ride onto a terrible rollercoaster in the past 5 years. I also acknowledge that I’m not the only one that faces regretful life incidents and I appreciate other’s capability to move on in life.
Some people remember me from my great childhood. Back then, we could bike and play on the streets alone till 10pm, wandering in the woods, climbing trees like Ninja’s, sleeping in the open air during Chiro camps, playing ice hockey on a frozen pond (Het venneke in de Lanen in Millegem), …
Some people remember me from great times in primary school in Millegem, rebellion times at Sint-Jan Berchmanscollege in Mol, a lot of party time in the Corbiestraat in Mol and being proudly part of the organising committee of the first Arachnophobia party series 🙂
Some people will for sure remember how loving and supportive my adoption parents have been in my childhood and how they encouraged me to develop my passions/talents. How welcoming my larger family circle in De Kempen truly was.
Some people remember me from playing music together (Mols percussion ensemble, Harmonie St. Odrada, national contest and even an international music contest in Zurich, several bands like RedSun, OneWay, The Splifftones, …). Some know me from having enjoyed practicing Karate in international Karate gatherings (even with Anichi Miyagi Sensei in Okinawa being the oldest living teacher of Okinawa Goju Ryu).
Some people will remember me from university studies in Diepenbeek and Antwerp but especially the extracurriculum activities late night at numerous TDs and in the Erasmus home 🙂
Some people will remember me from my happy life with my daughter, her mom and all our common friends.
Some people will remember me from having worked with me at Belgacom, Deloitte, Accenture, Brady Corp, Lonza, etc. and especially travelling across the globe to pursue my professional ambitions.
As you can read, I was happy. I had a great child hood, fantastic and supportive adoption parents, family and friends.
Found myself a fantastic wife and got a lovely daughter. A dream come true.
I purposefully depict above as a very positive and joyful past (sorry for the long text :-). I don’t want to pretend that adoption is wrong. On the contrary, my adoption was the best chance I got in life.
While I’m thankful for all of the above, I regret my life has let me down 5 years ago.
My daughter’s mum and I separated 5 years ago (for reasons no need to disclose via social media). We are still best friends today, but our lives changed drastically.
I moved to Kampenhout and started life as a happy single (at least that’s what I thought) – but quite soon I found myself in a relationship, and then another one, and so on… Very regretful and painful life experiences, but I know now that all my loved ones came into my life with a purpose, with learnings for both involved.
Last year I suffered from two discontinued relationships and sadly also lost my adoption mum – I will always keep on referring to her as “my mum”.
A summer love which started truly romantically last year, which I felt would become the love of my life, turned out to become a different story 😦 While I’m still recovering from that separation as it hit me hard, I have learnt meanwhile that underneath a deeper wound was waiting to emerge…
While I was looking for some clues on how to get over my ex, I found the video “How to let go of an ex“. I was baffled to hear the statement “it’s not your ex that you miss, but unmet needs from your childhood…”. Of course, I still miss my summer of 2019 love as hell, but I was intrigued by this statement as it was confirming what my Reiki master told me earlier on. The video also referred to the typical phenomenon on “Repetition Compulsion”. Damn, this explained why I was running from one relationship to another…
And then unexpectedly, I came across the book I desperately needed to fully grasp what was happening with me: The Primal Wound (from Nancy Verrier – see my Interesting Readings page). It has been that much instrumental to my conscious awakening that I would like to dedicate a separate post to this piece of scientific art in which a lot of adoptees might recognize themselves.
Thank you for having read through this long but clarifying text. I will do my best to keep my next postings short and sweet 🙂